Where I Belong
by Magnolia Mellark
Summary: Katniss begins to feel like she has made mistakes in her life, and she has been running from reality. She has to find where she belongs. Takes place after the end of Mockingjay.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Although I am one of the biggest Hunger Games fans ever, I was not particularly fond with the ending of Mockingjay. So after some thought, I have decided to make a short story about what happens after the Epilogue so I'm satisfied with the story. So here it is! Oh by the way, yes Katniss named her children after Finnick and Prim. Their middle names are Cinna and Rue.

_Disclaimer: I definitely do NOT own The Hunger Games series although I am a HUGE fan and I worship Suzanne Collins._

Chapter 1

_My name is Katniss Mellark. My home is District 12. I am married to Peeta Mellark. I am a mother of two children. I was in the Hunger Games. The Hunger Games are gone. I'm surprised I'm not dead. Sometimes I wish I was dead. _

The primroses in front of my house are beautiful at this time of year. Peeta had planted them many years ago. It surprises me they are still there today. I never dared mentioned the significance of these flowers to my children. Their life is just so peaceful, it shouldn't be disrupted by the past. They don't need to know that where they play is a graveyard. Nor do they need to know why their mother never seems to be truly happy. They don't need to know why I am mentioned so many times if their daily school sessions. They don't need to know their mother is the Mockingjay.

Last night I had been awoken when my child climbed into my bed. "Mommy," he said,"You were screaming." I noticed Peeta lying beside me. His eyes were wide open. I had clearly awoken him once again.

"It's alright Finn, Mommy just had another bad dream. Go back to bed." After some comforting words from his father, the boy eventually made his way back to him room. Peeta laid himself back down next to me. "I'm here Katniss," he said, "Your safe. Go back to sleep."

Despite my husband's reassurance that nothing could harm me, the nightmares continued. I was forced to watch as my mockingjay pin burst into flames and slowly melted into the ground where the dead bodies of the past tributes lay. When I looked over the dead bodies, there stood Peeta and my children. Each of them clutched a deadly weapon in their hands. My feet wouldn't move. My family was charging towards me seeking my death. Then I was awoken my the sound of my body hitting the bedroom floor.

I now sit curled up by the front window, watching as the primroses lit up the depressing street of the victors village. My attention draws to Haymitch's house. I hadn't seen him in almost a month. It was better off that way.

I jerk my head as I hear the door open. An old lady and a child enter my house. She greets us with a smile and a loud hello. Finn and Prim run towards her and embrace her with a hug. Greasy Sae had been coming every so often to help me with the kids while Peeta was working. I needed her, for all I knew if she wasn't there I'd be attempting suicide when my kids weren't looking.

I do not bother to greet her. I was not exactly in a friendly mood. I was still in deep thought after my dream last night. It was a new sort of dream to me. Usually my dreams had some sort of meaning to them. Well, not exactly a meaning but they happened for a reason. They could be based off memories from the past. This dream was very new to me.

I realized that my lips were moving. I was singing again. It had become quite common. Everybody must have thought I was going mad. I knew for a fact, that I was.

"_Deep in the meadow, under the willow_

_A bed of grass, a soft green pillow_

_Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes_

_And when again they open, the sun will rise."_

"Katniss!" exclaims Greasy Sae, "Wake up"

I close my mouth and turn towards her. Everybody was staring at me. "Sorry," I say almost in a whisper. I turn towards the window once more. I notice Haymitch's door opening and a foot stepping out. No, I don't want to see him. I turn my head back to where Prim looks at me worriedly.

I'm startled by the phone ringing. I observe the phone unable to rise to my feet. With a sigh, Greasy Sae lifts the phone to her ear. Then she hands it to me. I hesitate, but finally reach for the phone.

"Hi Katniss!" she says cheerfully, "Hows my little Finnick?"

"Annie..." I say in one breath. "How are you?"

Annie bursts into uncontrollable laughter. It does not surprise me. I wonder how she manages her child all alone. I imagine the poor confused child with his completely mad mother. I panic. I throw the phone across the room and Greasy Sae's granddaughter catches it and hangs it up.

I need time alone. I grab a jacket and head out to the woods. I run as fast as I can. I finally find the log where I had stored my bow and arrows where I sit down and cry. This is where I had come to be free all those years ago with Gale. I needed it now.

_Gale. _The word haunts me. He never appears in my dreams anymore. Why was this? People would guess he would be one of my main nightmares, he was part of the reason my sister was dead. I had chosen Peeta over him. There wasn't much of a choice on my part though. What would have happened if Gale was here? Would I still be married to Peeta? Or would I have killed myself long ago?

I sat on my log for hours. The sky soon became dark. I began making my walk home. I noticed the lights in Haymitch's house on. Why did I care so much?

I opened the door to find Peeta waiting for me. "Where have you been?" he asked, "The children were worried. I was worried! Greasy Sae had to stay with them all day! What sort of mother are you to leave your children at home while you go missing?"

"I needed time alone Peeta," I say.

"That's no excuse!" he snaps at me, "I don't need you running away from our children Katniss!"

I notice something behind Peeta's head. It's the television. It catches my eye.

"Look at me when I talk to you!" he shouts. He probably woke up the children.

I can't stop looking at the image on the screen. The amount of Peeta's anger rises. He turns his head in frustration. I watch as his anger slowly fades away when he looks at the screen. It's a broadcast from District 2. A familiar face sits upon the screen as if by fate. _Gale._


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I definitely do NOT own The Hunger Games series although I am a HUGE fan and I worship Suzanne Collins._

Chapter 2

_My name is Katniss Mellark. My home is District 12. I'm not in District 12. I'm on my way to District 2. I'm gong to find Gale in District 2. I will find Gale in District 2._

I clutch my bag in my hand as people slowly start boarding onto the train. Some people look at me giving me strange stares as I remain emotionless. A woman decides to park her butt in the seat next to me and stare at me for five minutes.

"Can I help you miss?" I ask her causing her to fall back and blush.

"Sorry," she says. She has a slight capital accent in her voice. The accent me and Gale would mimic as we sat in the woods. _Gale. _"Aren't you Katniss Everdeen?" she asks.

"No," I say, "My name is Katniss Mellark."

She looks me in the eyes than laughs, "Oh of course you are!" she says, "I am sorry, in all the books they call you Everdeen. Guess they should be updated shouldn't they! How is your husband anyways?"

"He's well. He's probably at home right now taking care of the children."

"Oh, and may I ask where you are heading?"

"I'm off to District 2 for the summer. I need a little vacation from home and I thought I could check up and see how all the districts are doing."

"How lovely! I'm going to visit my niece in District 7."

"Oh ARE YOU?" I say in the best capital accent I can. Them I cover my mouth. _What have I just done? You can't make fun of people with the capital accent right in front of their face Katniss! Maybe going to see Gale is having some sort of influence on me._

The woman looks at me in disgust then changes seats. I scream out an apology to her but she disappears into the other side of the train. I get filthy looks from the people who had been listening in on our conversation. The era of the capital is over, these are just everyday people now.

I can't control who I was in the past, or who these people were. I picture everybody on the train wearing their large puffy capital clothing in a variety of colours. The man's skin turns a vibrant yellow and his hair a highlighter pink shade. As he blinks, sparkles emit from his eyelashes. I bury my face in my hands and scream. It's these moments when my mind overcomes what is reality that I lose control.

I need somebody to comfort me. I need Peeta. No, I don't need Peeta. I can do this without him. I know I can. I need to be strong. When I have my nightmares I have to imagine him next to me, the old him. The boy that I had loved before he was hijacked. Even though Peeta no longer thinks I am a deranged mutt, he still thinks less of me than he once did.

I knew it was wrong, trying to turn Peeta back into what he once was. I can't reconstruct him with his memories of me all torn apart. The hijacked Peeta will live on. President Snow had ruined my life completely.

Sometimes, I really wish I killed Snow instead of Coin. I wish I could have killed Snow myself instead of letting those crazed people or himself do it for me. I could have killed Snow, THEN Coin. I wasn't thinking straight at the time.

The train suddenly begins to slow down and I notice that we made it to District 2. I slowly rise to my feet getting the stares of disgust that I know so well, and make my way to the doors when they slowly slide open. I take a minute to breathe in the air then step outside.

_Why are you doing this? He may have killed your sister. Why would you come all this way to visit him? Why is it even after marrying Peeta, you still have a desire to see him again?_

Gale's face on the TV screen lingers in my mind from when I looked up from Peeta. He seemed to have barely aged at all. He also seemed very happy. His important military job must be treating him well. I can't help but wonder what he does. Nobody ever told me much about him. They always seemed to avoid the topic of Gale completely. Like he was an unwanted blemish on my face that nobody dared mention, but there it stayed.

The Nut seems to be nothing now. It's former glory has levelled down to a small hill barely visible from afar. I remember Gale suggesting that we blow it up killing hundreds of innocent people. They were to all die like our fathers. Why had Gale suggested this? Why am I here?

"Katniss?" a voice says from behind me. I turn to see a strange man with a long moustache and very good posture.

"That's me," I say, "What can I help you with?"

"Why are you here?" he asks, "Shouldn't you be home with Peeta? Is he here with you."

"I needed some time alone," I reply, "I needed to get away from my stressful life for a while and come and check out the other districts."

"You shouldn't be here," he says, "You don't belong here."

"And why don't I exactly?"

"Because Gale Hawthrone is here."

_Gale._

"Why does that even matter?" I ask.

"Katniss," says the man, "He came here to get away from you. Now that your here in District 2, he's going to have to leave again. He can't face you Katniss."

"And who are you to tell me what to do?"

"My name is Micah and I work with Gale. He's told me all about his relationship he had with you."

"Did he? Well, how about you don't tell him I'm here. I want to drop by and see him before I leave. Just to say hello. I wont stay long. Any chance I can get his address?"

Micah sighs and slowly begins writing something down on a small sheet of paper and hands it to me. "Don't upset him mockingjay."

"I wont. I promise."

I wonder if Enobaria would let me stay with her? Probably not. I need somewhere to stay. Maybe it's possible some sympathetic family would be willing to take in a lost mockingjay. Or I could always just sleep in the streets. But I have a while until I need to rest my head. I need to go find Gale.


End file.
